Why I don't post on Facebook
- Cassidy Krahn
- Mar 15, 2019
- 2 min read
I’ve been neglecting to create a post for some time. Most of you know I am currently studying abroad in Prague, the Czech Republic and if you follow my Instagram you know I have been having a great time. For me Instagram is feels like an outlet to express myself through photos. Whereas Facebook, to me, is a platform to share events and life updates. Looking at my feed I have shared many events, especially when it comes to organizations I am apart of, however, I have not shared many (almost none) life updates.
Coming abroad has been a mix of emotions. I have felt grateful everyday I get to do this opportunity, but with that I have also felt so guilty. Why do I get to live abroad while my family and friends have to work and deal with “real” life? Feeling guilty is something I have struggled with since I started college. Why do I get to go to school and have all this fun? Through countless years and hours of self-refection is comes back down to this, I worked hard for it. Guilt doesn’t allow me to completely enjoy an experience because I am thinking of “what ifs” and comparing myself to others.
It has been hard for me to let go of the comparison and realize how hard I have worked to be where I am today. I worked so hard to be in Prague. Of course, I had help getting here, and I am grateful to those who have helped me along the way, ten-fold. But that is only 10% of the equation, the other 90% is my ambition, drive, and passion. For me that is a hard pill to swallow. I consistently lack the confidence to say, “Yes that was me.” So, what has changed?
Today, and lately, I have been talking to myself more, acknowledge that I am good enough, that I work hard, and it’s okay to say so. I am trying to live in the moment and just be in the here and now. I have a better understand that while it is important to recognize a group effort it is also hurtful to hide behind it. I like that I can think about how I am spending my time and money, but the guilt is a bit less. I worked hard to be here I can afford to enjoy it. I am transforming the guilt in to having earned this. I also make sure I keep earning this. I still have class, I still have homework. Earning my days and nights makes the guilt slip away and helps me enjoy the moment more.
This all comes down to the long-winded way of explaining why I don’t post on Facebook. Why I don’t give life updates. I’m not going to say I will start doing it more. But hopefully that gives some insight.
Also here are some photos from European adventures. I love the people I have met and get to experience this with. They have made all the difference in making this time away even more special.
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